Saturday, July 11, 2009
Simply, I can't!!
I can't feel normal since her death.
I can't act normal since the day she was murdered.
I can't help myself feeling that angry.
I can't stop thinking about her.
I can't live a normal life since then.
I can't spend two hours, no matter how busy I am, without staring at the no where & remembering her.
I can't read or hear the news without cursing those people; both in Germany & in Egypt.
I can't give them an excuse for their calm, cruel, in sensitive & irresponsible reaction.
I can't think of her as a martyr (as I am supposed to do), I just think of her as my very old & dear dead friend.
I can't pray for her (as I should do), I just can't get over my feelings & act in a mature way.
I can't write any thing except about her.
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7 comments:
Ola, for her sake..please try to pray as much as possible for her..
You should repeat:
وَلاَ تَقُولُواْ لِمَنْ يُقْتَلُ فِي سَبيلِ اللّهِ أَمْوَاتٌ بَلْ أَحْيَاء وَلَكِن لاَّ تَشْعُرُونَ
Repeat it till you feel it and you will feel much better. Don't care about what people say, it will neither benefit nor harm her. Only our prayers do now.
You should feel privileged you were her friend, and keep aspiring that you would be like her one day.
I know I am not in a place where I could tell you how you should feel..bas I have seen my mom go through this with a close friend of hers, and I know it is not a very fast process..so what you are going through is normal..but the faster you get out of this the better for both you and her.
السلام عليكم
ربنا يرحمها و يصبر أهلها و يجعل مثواها الجنة
إن لله و إنا إليه راجعون
It's not that easy at all however you'll gain nothing from listening to people or their reactions.
Ola, since you're close to her, the best thing beside praying is doing something positive so what about "Sadaqa Jareyah" (صدقة جارية) like Water Chilled (مبرد مياة عمومي) i mean?
Check this with her family and may Allah grant her with Mercy, and there's still her 3 years old son.
Again: forget about people and their reactions everywhere and focus on what will benifit her and everyone close to her!
Also n addition to what "gjo" and "No Fear" mentioned, remeber this verse from qur'an:
وَلَا تَحْسَبَنَّ اللَّهَ غَافِلًا عَمَّا يَعْمَلُ الظَّالِمُونَ إِنَّمَا يُؤَخِّرُهُمْ لِيَوْمٍ تَشْخَصُ فِيهِ الْأَبْصَارُ
isA we'll see the justice for her in donya before the hearafter.
ola habibty... to you, she must be a lot more than all the labels anyone of us gives her... just like she is to her family...
like gjoe said, prayers are the one thing that matter... i know it's really hard to find the prayers for those we lose to death, and perhaps that's what make them count for so much... and i can only imagine how much harder it is with all that anger and rage about the way she was taken...
since you know her family, try to do something different than the rest of us... visit them, check on the little kid every now and then... rabenna yessabarhom we ye3awadhom fe ebnaha kul kheir...
gioe, no fear, Hicham, inso,
Thank you all for your supporting words. Please pray for her
السلام عليكم ادعو الله ان يرحمها و يدخلها فسيح جناته و نرى فى قاتلها ايه من ايات العذاب
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